1/28/22
I haven't utilized this blog the way I meant, the way I started. The last few weeks have been pretty much summations of something in my day to keep track. It is more valuable to keep showing my work and how I got to the answer.
I'm hoping i'm not a fool to think being pretty isolated in winter and processing the past few years, the loss and the hell my mom must have experienced, will be the best way to honor the saying "if you're going through hell, keep going through." I feel as if I can keep moving, stand stronger after taking a breath to see it all, while still moving forward.
It all was so sudden and went so fast , there was no prep for it. I will never feel i did enough, i will always have things i wish i would have done better ...or not done.....but I did really try and that is tremendously important and I think once i've seen things from outside of it I will come back to that anyway, it may be all that brings me about it other than knowing my mom is at peace and past her hell.
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